Farewell
by GoodbyeCrimson
Summary: A short look into Sakura's thoughts and memories as she prepares to say goodbye to Sasuke. Takes place before Sasuke leaves the leaf village.


_Farewell_

My fondest memory is comprised of three things: the late afternoon sun, warm, green grass, and Sasuke. Naruto was still training, the horrid cacophony of his horsed battle cries echoing from the practice grounds to where me and Sasuke relaxed. Even as we tried to drown out his racket with some small talk, the wind carried over feverish cries of "take that!" and "eat this!". Eventually, we resolved just to give up on any hopes of conversation at all. Sasuke was leaned against a tree, my eyes focused on the brilliant sky above as the sun struggled to stay in the sky, becoming that much brighter in it's battle. I raised one hand to it, letting the beams of light slip through my fingers, like the time we spent eventually would. There's nothing chimerical about that moment in time, but it's become my constant endeavor to return to that sparkling afternoon. It was deliciously simplistic, a haven without the frightening battles that I dreaded, where we were for a second in silent unison. Peaceful. Together. Safe. I convinced myself that days like that would continue forever, and they did continue, yet when you're a ninja there's no such thing as "forever". The only eternity that afternoon can have is in my mind, where it will perpetually grant me a bitter sweet reminiscence.

The harmony of that day inevitably faded away. Orochimaru had dug his claws into the open wounds Itachi had left on Sasuke, defeating him in a swift blow and dragging him into the coffin of his infernal darkness. Sasuke is not gone-_not yet_, but his heart already lays in Orochimaru's carnivorous clutches. I'm not the kind of person who admits defeat without fighting tooth and nail, it was that determination that caused me to tie in the chunin exams with Ino, but I'm also intelligent enough to comprehend what's happening right before my eyes. Admitting it gnaws away at my insides, and causes me to double over in sentimental pain, but I can still admit it-I know there's nothing I can do to stop him.

For the longest time our team dynamic has been set in stone, from the first day our team was arranged we settled into our natural places. Naruto is the enduring punch line to all our jokes and teasing, the two of us always quick to share a laugh at his expense... but our laughs ring out differently, mine a high giggle and his a chuckle that spills from his smirking face. Like his laugh, Sasuke has always been an eon apart from me. Other than our missions, we only see each other around once a month, briefly exchanging words before dispersing back to our own lonely lives, his shrouded in a mystery I've yet to understand. He's warmed up since we first met, in the midst of combat with Gaara he once vowed to protect his precious friends, and I'm proud to have been consider on of those he holds-or held, so dear. If we could stay a team for longer, I'm positive Sasuke would bloom into a more open person, someone who could admit he cared about us outside the clashes of battle, someone who was above petty revenge. I like to imagine that in an alternate world we could have seen the results of our friendship come to full bloom, but all that potential has been cut short. _We could have done so much_, but that's fact amounts to another poltergeist that will only haunt me in the days to come. I'll spend the next few years fantasizing about what could have been, what will never be.

Another stake in the grave of my sorrowful mortal mind is that I loved him. On dull roads and when chasing after bratty cats, the only thing that kept my vexed mind from exploding was his calm, beautiful face. He remained perfectly angelic, each of his lithesome movements captivating and rescuing me from the angst that most ninjas experience. I loved him. Loving him made things worth while, it motivated me to become stronger just as his rivalry with Naruto made both of them stronger. There were many times I could have confessed to him, but I was always worried it would ruin the friendship we had already developed. I thought he might already know, I'm not very secretive with my emotions, but still I was too nervous to let the worlds leave my quivering lips.

Were we ever really friends? Sometimes I wonder if we're just fans clinging to his ever expanding ego. Over the past month Sasuke's been regressing back into the darkness. When I knock on his door, bringing him sweets in my meager attempts to cheer him up, he pretends he isn't home. Knock knock knock... and still I receive no answer. Yesterday I placed the basket in front of his door and walked away, hoping he would at least except that much. He turned his back on us, having secret meetings with the sound ninja and dodging us when we try to connect with him. He's distancing himself, maybe in hopes that he won't miss us when he leaves, maybe as a gift to us, so that we can moved on easier.

Now he's leaving me. I could cry out to him, drop to my knees and plea for him to stay in touch with me, beg that after he's gotten his revenge for him to return to my always open arms. But what good will that do? We were so vastly different when fate threw us into squad seven, we still are. After the thread that connected us is broken, after we're separated by law, morals, worlds, and miles, we'll never see each other again. It would be pointless to request something so unrealistic. I know I will never see him again. That much is certain.

That's not what I'm thinking about now. The thought that's crushing the breath from my lungs, making my heart beat so fast that I think it's going crack my ribs, is what my last words to him should be. There's nothing more harrowing than tainting someone's memories of you with a failed good bye. Everything has to be perfect, a conclusion to sum up all the feelings I have, all the moments we shared, all the emotions that will both torment and comfort me in the years to come. This flush of emotions that wants to explode from my chest, I have to make these rushing thoughts coherent and relay them to him. I can't leave any loose threads.

I stand here now, looking at him in the dim moonlight with glassy eyes, knowing I can afford only a few words, what do I say? What would it accomplish if I cry out I love you? In time will he think of me as only another one of his fan girls, will it annul all the time we've spent together, all the memories we've made? What if he comes back from the sound, what if Naruto _does_ drag him back and we stay friends, will he think of me as only a hindrance after my confession? If I say simply "_goodbye_" what will he say to me? Will he simply nod and leave? I don't know, but I have to say _something_. He's waiting, looking at me with those dark eyes of his, those eyes that made me love him. He'llbme gone soon, in moments, and this may be the last time I see him. I don't have many pictures of him because he's camera shy, after this moment he'll live on only through a few awkward and blurry photographs Naruto took when he wasn't looking, he'll live on only in my memory. I have to savor this, this precious last image of him.

"Sakura..." He's waiting. Only a moment longer. I can't hesitate.

"Sasuke...!" The words leave my mouth.

[author's note]

Thanks for reading! Please review and tell me what you think!  
Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me. :O


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